Revenge Lady's Latest Advice
I've been hanging on to a business card for about a year, with a real estate lady's contact info on it, who screwed me over while I was trying to rent an apartment (told us we were first in line, took extra (cash) from me to run my credit, never ran my credit (I checked) and then said, "oh the landlord decided to rent to someone else!") We have great credit, great income - there was no reason we shouldn't have gotten that apartment, if we were, indeed, first in line. She was just scamming for extra application fees!
Anyway, so I've been hanging on to this business card. (I would have put in a formal complaint if I hadn't paid her the extra app fee in cash, but as it was - she was in a rush for the fee, so our application would still be "first" - I had no proof).
Soooo, I'm hoping you have some sort of harmless but annoying, "here's a cup of karma!" revenge suggestions for me? I have her cell phone, residential phone (and address, via internet lookup on the res. phone) ... I plan to call both numbers to verify they still belong to her before enacting any of your suggestions! I don't care that she connect me with the revenge, just my knowing is enough! Heck, she probably does this so much that she wouldn't remember me anyway!
Well, let's see.....
she's a real estate lady, she lives to sell, her time is precious.....so why don't you play with her a little.
Call and arrange to meet at an address she has to sell/rent.....then don't show.....You could do this
a few times even. Tease her, play with her, let her think she's being duped but give her enough doubt so she shows up.
Course all this takes time.....it's up to you if it's worth it.
Dear Revenge Lady: I have a neighbor who is a miserable bitch. Anyhow my kid's basketball went over the fence and she picked it up, told hom"ha ha, it's mine now!" She flat out refuses to give it back. To me it is the point of the matter, what kind of a sicko takes a ten year old's basketball. It's not illegal just nasty! Any ideas?
Oh I hate that - what a meanie!! First of all, suck it up and go over and ask for it back. Then when she says no, play a game of frisbee with your kid, only use tortillas or flat bread - when they go over fence, yell, "ha ha, it's yours now" - you get the idea....
Dear Revenge Lady,
In 1995 whilst living in Dubai I met and fell in love with an Egyptian, a Moslem.On 13th May 1996 we married and it was an Islamic marriage, not a marriage recognised by British law.
This man has a Swiss nationality and I put my hands up and state that I was totally naive. He had told me he had acquired his Swiss passport because his mother is Swiss and his father Egyptian. This was not true.
Five months into my pregnancy his wife showed up. She was 15 years older than he, had a son, 7 years old at the time and this is how he had acquired Swiss nationality, by marrying a national, not from his mother. In fact his mother is Palestinian and his father is Egyptian.
I only go into this detail of nationality so that you understand from the start, there was no word of truth.
He left me during my pregnancy and returned to Zurich to be with his wife and son. I had the most terrible pregnancy.
He called me to tell me to have an abortion, then called me back to say his wife had told him to do it, that I should keep the baby and that he would be back to sort out the whole mess. His wife also frequently called me in the night telling me that she was so happy with this man, that they were reunited and that I should disappear, preferably die.
He was a charmer, good looking, used powerful soothing words whenever he rang me and I was hooked and so totally and utterly vulnerable. Ultimately, I delivered our son alone in Dubai and gave him a Christian name. I had no other choice given the circumstances. He blamed me for this and used it as an excuse to say that his son was not his son and so he ignored us both.
I returned to England and got a good job as an IT training consultant. I saved enough money (some thousands) and went to Zurich, appointed a lawyer and made a paternity claim which I won. This had nothing to do with money, but my son's birthright and I was hell bent and determined that he might cheat me, but not his own son.
By that time he had declared himself bankrupt, was unemployed and his marriage was on the rocks. I did not care, I returned to
England and got on with my life, safe in the knowledge that he could not take my son since he paid no money and that at least, when my son became 18 and responsible for his own birth certificate, I would not have to have a conversation with him asking me who his father is.
When my son was 5 years old this man started to make contact with me, he had to work hard to find us and he arrived in England, crying and telling me how proud he was that I had fought for our son's rights. He was messed up in his head and his wife still called his mobile all the time, despite telling me that he was now finalised on his divorce. I had a major trust issue and found all the anger that I had buried returning and we used to fight all the time.
The last straw came when he realized our son had no bond with him and wanted only to cuddle and be carried by me. One night he took our son to his bedroom and in anger, hung him by the neck of his pyjamas at the top of his bedroom door. I heard a scream from my son's lungs that took me up a flight
of stairs with just two steps. This man was kicking the wall and screaming that I had poisoned our son against him. We were terrified and alone in the house and finally, the next day, I managed to get him to leave.
I have never re-married but I have built a business, working from home as a publisher. My son attends a good school and is achieving good grades. He is a happy, balanced, comical child who delights in doing accents. He plays in a football team and has won special awards three seasons on the trot.
Come rain or shine, I have had every pleasure in standing on the edge of the football pitch, watching my son do what he so loves to do. We have lots of photos of him with his team, we have a shelf full of trophies and his school reports are excellent. My friends tell me he is a testament to me. I call it devotion to a child and that whatever I lost with my 'love life' was doubly returned to me with the wonderful child I am so blessed with.
It is six and a half years since we last saw his father. In February he started to make contact again. If I am honest, I had to forgive him or I knew that the anger and bitterness would eat me and I might even get cancer. My day to day life is amongst 'normal' people. Clients that respect me and friends that treat me well.
I am not 'armed' to deal with a cheat, a liar, a thief and I am an open person.
My son's father told me he had married again, has twin boys, six months old and that he did not love his wife. Well hello??? Who did he ever love???!!!!
I told him that being a new father is tough, that past is past and he can talk to our son on the phone from time to time but that he has made his bed, he has to lie on it. He went on to tell me that he still has no job, his wife cannot work in Zurich because her papers, from another country, are not recognised and that he is living on housing benefit in a two bed third floor flat in the centre of Zurich. He felt isolated from his wife because she is exhausted and he feels consumed with guilt for all that he had 'done' (not done) for our son. He acknowledged hanging him on the door and said he'd had regret and nightmares ever since.
On Saturday 21st June he arrived at Heathrow with his Italian, non English speaking mate. He claimed he needed a holiday and to make up for all his mistakes with his son. We had actually been very civilised on the phone but I made it clear that when he came, my friend would take Alex to him and that I had no need to meet him because I am in the past, not part of the picture. He was upset but I ignored his words.
On the second day of his visit, my son was with him, stronger, relaxed and excited to have a Daddy. I was confident that this man would do my son no harm because too many people were watching him and he had his friend with him in an open, public place.
He rang me and rang me and begged me to go and meet him. I called my friend to collect him and she was not available, she had driven to London central. I had to collect my son and his father told me to go to the hotel. I got to the hotel and went to the room, expecting to find my son, his father and Italian friend. My son and the Italian friend were not there and this man locked the door, had sex with me against my will, throwing me on the bed and despite my best efforts to get up, I knew I was wasting my time.
I had to keep quiet for the sake of our son and I did not go to the police because this man is a master liar and cheat. As it transpires, he also took my son's iPOD from him and has returned to Zurich with it. My son thought he was showing it to him and he did not give it back, distracting him to another subject.
So despite all his months of tearful calls down the phone from Zurich, he has sold his son for an iPod and he has broken any possibility of successful communication with me, despite my being so calm and civilised by violating me.
Further, he has told his wife that I am an ugly, lonely loser who is desparate for him and tried to break up his marriage. He said this to her in anticipation of my calls to his home to speak the truth. In fact I sent that lady flowers and warned her that her husband is a liar and a cheat and to take care of herself and her beautiful babies, both of whom look so like my son. She believes me to be a sick loser, desparate for her husband and creating stories.
Now I've had to sit down with my son and tackle the subject that despite his excitement, in fact he has no father.
What revenge would you take?
Thank you so much.
What a terrible story - I'm so sorry you got ensnared with this person. But as you say, you have a lovely boy as a result of it.
Now for the tougher part - there's more to this I think.....you seem to be harboring some fantasies about this man, as if he might turn out to be a good guy after all.....as a result of this, twice you put your son in the presence of this man who you already knew to be a worthless if not dangerous person. First time, he "hangs" your son on your door - this is horrific
and something that your son will never forget.
In spite of that, you allow him to see him AGAIN only this time to have his IPOD stolen. Now it's fine for you to be foggy about this man but for you to put your son in harm's way is terrible.
There is no sane way to take revenge on this man - his crimes run too deep. My advice is to cut off all contact forever - if not for you, then to protect your son from this person - who cares if he's biologically related, he is harming your son emotionally and psychologically.
My 2 cents.
Dear Revenge Lady,
Wow, I can't believe I'm writing you, but I just had a casual fling with a guy over the weekend who turned out to be a total dog. I was out with a girlfriend at a club, had no idea he had asked her out for dinner the following night, she left and he came on hard and heavy to me. I even asked this guy if he was interested in her. Of course, looking back what was he gonna say? He just wanted casual sex. I am feeling so hurt and used. When she somewhat confronted him the next day while I was on a walk with her and he knew I was there - she said you need to choose between her or me, he simply said, don't threaten me, I'll date who I want to date and proceeded to let her know where he was taking her for dinner, which is a really nice expensive dinner place. She is planning on setting up the date and then calling and saying she is running a little late to just order dinner and a drink for her and she'll be there in a little and then no show. I however feel like I want to get even also, somehow let other women know what a snake he is.
He is a local surfer, considered writing on his car in erasable marker? Don't want to do anything illegal, but this guy is really a dirtbag. Any suggestions?
Her idea of getting him to pay for meal that she doesn't show up for is good. That's probably enough....you can do erasable writing on his car if you want, but if I were you i would just forget it - hey, takes two to do a one night stand...
everyone knows you should check the waters out carefully before getting in.... so you live and learn, probably best not to do casual sex again if you are expecting better treatment....
Dear Revenge Lady,
I have been happily married for almost two years now, and my husband and I recently decided to start a family. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times, right? Well, unfortunately it's gotten to the point that I don't even want to talk about it because my mother keeps bringing up the fact that my husband and I moved to another state 3 years ago and she doesn't think we should have children right now or "all the way over here"...and needless to say, she's not here. EVERY time she calls, without provocation or any mention of babies from me, she blurts out, "NO BABIES IN MONTANA!" or "when are you moving back to Ohio?" or "don't rush anything. blah blah blah blah" and every variation of each statement, over and over again like I'm some preteen girl that's just crushing. Hello! I'm 26 years old! I'm so tired of the snive and disrespectful comments. Help me get back at her so she can see how annoying and childish she's been! K.
It seems your mom is quite the trip, judging by both these letters. I hate to be boring with my advice but here goes.
You can't change her, you can only change your reaction to her. You have every right to live your life. If you want children, go for it. Try to cut her off when she starts her bull. If you can't cope with her at this point, then minimize your contact for a while. Try going to a therapist for help with this - YOU need to get past it, you can't make her change.
Top of Advice Column