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Top Ten Dates from Hell

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1. After a bad break up I was convinced by a friend to have a blind date with some guy she knew. Anyway he was a total nutjob and proceeded to show me his very long criminal record, obviously thinking it was impressive, and telling me about how he had hit an old granny in the face with a glass bottle, and all the times he had been arrested for attempted murder etc. for all the stuff he had done to his ex - girlfriend. Yeah great first impression.

2. When I was in high school this kid at my church had a big crush on me. He was a big dork and never felt the same way he felt about me. Well on day at church he asked my mother if he can take me out instead of asking me. My mom said yes and forced me to go out. Well I had to pick him up and we went to the movies. On the way to his house he told me he wanted to show me something. He took me to this girls house that he was infatuated with. When we pulled up to her house there was tons of cars and teenagers every where. He was so pissed because she was throwing a party and he was not invited. He made me park in front of her house. He showed me the bush outside of her house where he sometimes hides to stalk her. What kinda of first date shows you a bush where he stalks another girl?!?!?!?!When I was single I always brought along "mad money" on a date...which was to ensure that I could always afford a Taxi or other transportation home the minute I wasn't being treated respectfully, as a lady should be...or I wasn't enjoying myself...or a guy made me mad! I see no point whatsoever in pretending to like someone or hanging in there if I'm not having a good time or the guy is acting like a jerk. I leave immediately. I deserve better than that! Also, whenever possible, I insist that I only go on dates if we each pay our own way...thereby eliminating all guys who think a gal owes them something because they spent a dime...and eliminating guys who are to "bullshit macho" to treat a woman as an equal. I never have a bad date...because I don't tolerate bad behavior or stay in a bad situation. If its bad, I call a cab or a friend and leave or tell him good bye and take off with someone else. Thats how I met my husband of over 20 years...I dumped a bad date and took off with him instead! After all, a guy should be putting his best foot forward on the first date...not his worst. I wouldn't even kiss without a commitment...because I intended to date hundreds of guys but I don't intend to kiss hundreds of guys. I get to know someone well before I kiss them. I didn't kiss my husband until he asked me to marry him. I keep wondering why there are so many bimbo women out there who go on TV for paternity tests because they don't know who the father of their baby is. Some of them have 7 or 8 guys tested! How many guys do they have sex with in a month anyway? I think women need to raise their standards and demand that men have the qualities that make them good husbands and fathers...and the only way they can demand anything is if they have high standards themselves. Alot of guys don't know what the proper definition of "man" is...a REAL MAN is a gentleman, with high standards and morals, who protects others, not takes advantage of them.

3. A "THOUGHTful" BIRTHDAY GIFT It was my birthday, and I was excitedly waiting for Ed, a man I'd been seeing for six months, to pick me up for my special night. When we got in his car, he said he didn't have his wallet with him because he'd left it at his friend's house down by the beach. He told me all his cash was in his wallet. So we both just sat in his truck, in my apartment's parking lot, saying nothing. I knew Ed was pretty cheap, and I got the feeling he was waiting for me to offer to pay for my birthday dinner, but I didn't. I suggested that Ed drive to his friend's house to pick up his wallet. He seemed a little irritated with my idea, but he finally relented, and off we went to the beach. As we were driving along, I started wondering what sort of gift Ed would give me for my birthday. I noticed when I answered the door that Ed had come empty handed, so I figured he was going to surprise with me with something really special later on during our date. Anyway....On the way to his friend's house, Ed brought up the subject of my birthday present. I remember my heart skipping a beat; I was so excited! He told me that earlier that day he had been walking through the mall thinking about how he should buy me a birthday present. He said that he saw the most beautiful green blouse that would match my eyes perfectly, and that I'd look very sexy in it. Then Ed told me that he almost bought the blouse, but he decided not to. I thought that was a pretty odd thing to say to me, and I started having serious doubts about our date, yet I was still hopeful that Ed had something really special for me up his sleeve. After that, I didn't have much else to say to Ed as we drove down the freeway. We got to his friend's house, I waited in the car for him to get his wallet, and then Ed took me to a crappy Denny's-type restaurant across from all of the nice, beach-facing restaurants. After my birthday dinner, Ed whipped out his CREDIT CARD (no cash) and paid for our meal, and then he took me home. That was it! That was my special birthday date. Ed never wished me a "Happy Birthday." And my birthday GIFT turned out to be nothing more than a really sexy, 'invisible' green blouse.......a very "THOUGHTful" birthday gift, indeed!

4. I met up with a guy who I met through an online dating site and he took me to the opera. He was sweet but a bit shy and nerdy, and although conversation was a bit of a struggle we got on well. At the end of the second act however he began to get strangely excited, looking down into his crotch, drumming his fingers on his knees and moving back and forth in his seat whilst facing front the whole time. After a while I tried to get him to stop by catching his attention by looking at him - no change, then touching him lightly on the arm. He stopped for a while. I was extremely embarrassed, as everyone else just sat quietly enjoying the opera. Mind, this was at a posh London opera in the middle of the day! Just as the applause started I got the impression he came in his pants. Urgh! He then got up and excused himself, saying "I have to go to the toilet"- well I bet he did!

5. This is my story of the prom date from hell. I had been trying to get this girl that I go to school with, Summer, to go to the junior prom with me. I was extremely excited when she finally said yes. The night started out well, until I got to her house. As it turned out she had invited 2 of her friends, Tiffany and Jessica, along on our date. To make matters worse Jessica was close to 300 pounds and almost couldn't fit in to the back seat of my car! When we got to the restaurant that I had planned to take Summer to I was under the impression that Tiffany and Jessica would pay for their own meals. WRONG! When the check came all three immediately made a run for the car and left me their to pay the $124 bill. When we got to the prom Summer flat out refused to dance with me, but not ten minutes later she was out dancing with a bunch of other guys, and wouldn't even speak to me the entire rest of the night. Summer's gigantic friend Jessica was the only one that would speak to me but now she thinks I'm her boyfriend, simply because we talked the entire night. By the time we left she was already making marriage plans and I had no interest in her whatsoever! Jessica's mom came to pick her up that night and I took Summer and tiffany home. When they got out of the car they didn't even say a word to me, just slammed the door in my face and walked in to the house, and if that wasn't bad enough that fat creepy girl jessica is now stalking me! COULD PROM HAVE BEEN ANY WORSE?

6. Had been dating a girl named Kara for a brief time back in 1996. I got us tickets to a concert, and we went with a bunch of friends/coworkers of mine. After the concert, we returned to my workplace, where we had all met. Kara and I got in my truck and drove over to a nearby parking lot of an abandoned shopping center. By this time, it is approximately midnight. We were talking (and, yes, that is all...never been one for doing stuff in a vehicle) when one of the city police officers pulls in. It was a reasonable thing for a cop to do, seeing a vehicle in an abandoned parking lot late at night. Well, the cop gets our ID's and goes back to his car and runs them. Well, it turns out Miss Kara has a warrant for her arrest on a failure to appear from a nearby city. So, they arrested Kara and took her to the city jail, and called the other city who sent an officer out to come get her. Being a nice guy, I felt like I had to bail her out. So, I followed the cop from the nearby city over to his department as he transported Kara. Once they got her there, I went in to find out how much her bail was...$350! So, I went to a nearby ATM, got the cash, came back and bailed her out. She explained to me that she had gotten stopped by the police a few months ago in a friend's car. She couldn't find his insurance card and was cited for no proof of insurance. She said that the guy told her that he had handled the issue and that she didn't need to worry about it. So, she didn't pay the ticket and didn't go to court. Well, she said she would pay me back the bail money...and kept putting it off...and putting it off...and, realizing that I was probably never going to get that $350.00 back, I left her father a voice mail advising him of what happened and trying to enlist his assistance in getting my money back. Long story short, I never got the money back, but I was able to put her in an uncomfortable situation with her dad. If I had it to do over again, when she got arrested, I would have just driven home and washed my hands of the whole thing.

7. I decided to meet someone that I had talked to over the net. He seemed real nice at first. Until he showed me a picture of his stillborn dead baby! I got out of there fast.

8. I went to Vegas for work. I ended up spending the night with a prostitute since I have a bad marriage. I ended up catching crabs and a yeast infection in my eye.

9. I once went on a first date with a guy who seemed cool until it came time to get romantic. He kissed with his eyes open.....COMPLETELY WIDE OPEN AND
STARING...from the beginning of the kiss all the way through to the end. He never shut his eyes during the entire kiss. It took me a while of making out
to figure out he did this, as I, like other normal people eventually close their eyes when diving in for a smooch. It weirded me out so badly I never went on a second date.

10. I was at a bar once and an old man came up to me and asked me if I had a mirror in my pants....I was really confused and I just said "huh"...?? after that he told me that he could see himself in my pants it was gross. He was like 70 Aahhh!!!!!!!!! ...good thing I was buzzing a little so I really didn't bother me.

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