Top Ten Funerals from Hell
To submit your entry Click Here
1. About 6 years ago my boyfriend's mother passed away rather suddenly. My boyfriend went to the hospital to meet/console/collect his father. In the mean time I tracked down his ex-wife and asked her to bring their 2 older kids and meet us at grandpa's house. (I had their 3 younger kids, plus my own 2.) We all meet at grandpa's and his ex-wife loses her mind! She starts trying to take charge of everything, gets shut down,....and then it get even better! She proceeds to tell my boyfriend that now they should get back together...that is what his mother would want. He tell her to shut up and go home now...but she keeps pestering. He yells at her...the 2 older kids are bawling...his brother tells her to leave. Does she..? Oh no, she picks a fight with his sister-in-law, and creates a big scene! Boyfriend then threatens to kick her butt if she doesn't leave....his dad tells her she is not welcome at the funeral. Ex-wife calls the sheriff. 3 officers arrive to a screaming match, and kindly escorted the her off the property! She did end up attending the funeral...and kept her mouth shut!!
2. I attended my paternal grandfathers' funeral in the early 80's. Dad's side of the family has always been 'a bit odd'. As I walked through the line of 'grieving' aunts & uncles, one particularly tasteless, Elvis-wannabe uncle was there. I was in my early 20's & hadn't seen him since I was a kid. He began the whole swagger & sneer thing, made some disgusting remarks & tried to cop a feel. Luckily I was able to slip away from Mr. Touchy-feely. To this day I'm amazed that dueling banjos aren't played at every funeral involving that side of the family.
3. A few years ago a my friend Susan passed away after a long illness. At the end of the service, the minister asked if anyone would like to say anything about the deceased. A friend of Susan's from college took the podium and spoke for 45 minutes. He told us how Susan should have married him instead of her husband, but couldn't since he was gay. He told us how much time he and Susan spent naked and frolicking around. He told us about all the wonderful experiences he and Susan had experimenting with various drugs. He also went on to tell us about his sex life and how hard it is to be a gay man. Everyone was in such shock that no one thought to drag this disturbed individual out of the church.
4. In my home town there was a story in the paper about 3 people dying when they were struck by lighting at a friends funeral.
5. When my mom died 7 years ago, I spent two weeks before she died at her bedside nursing her. (I lived 5 hours away, I was always the one that took care of her when she was ill). When she died, I spent the two days prior to the funeral cleaning 24hrs a day (the house was disgusting, my mom had been sick for years and Dad for some reason, wouldn't hire a housekeeper),making calls (providing moral support to grief stricken friends and family), cooking for everyone etc, etc. Even gave up MY room for an aunt. I managed to hold it together until after the funeral and reception. I finally hit my limit and left for a bit of "down time" to grieve on my own and arrived back at the house as everyone else was coming back. My mother's brother (whom I hadn't seen in years and whom had been NO WHERE IN SIGHT while my mother was declining - did I mention that he also said he'd donate a kidney to her and backed out at the last minute? - forgot to TELL us he backed out too!) Had the balls to stop me from coming into the house. Instead, he stood there and chewed me out for being an ungrateful rotten selfish daughter who had no sense of how to behave properly. He wouldn't have let me into my PARENT'S house if I hadn't have pushed him out of the way. Nobody of course saw this at the time and everybody thought this guy was next to God. Years later, I slowly started telling family members what he had done, he got a lot of nasty phone calls and I got a lot of apologies. This guy is supposed to be a born again christian, how christian is it to chew out a daughter on the day of her Mother's funeral? If I never have to see him again, it will be too soon! It's still painful 7 years later.
6. Well, my father passed back in December, and really, only the funeral went well. The days leading up were one nightmare after another. First, since my wife is in the Navy, we had to get a special Red Cross message sent from their hospital to ours. 4 hours later (for something that takes all of 10 minutes), we finally get her home, out of uniform, packed and on the road at about 10PM.
I just couldn't make the 7 hour drive from SC to VA, so we stopped in a hotel. The heat didn,t work (about 30F in the room), the shower didn't work, the hair dryer didn't work, and then they charged us twice for the room. We had a little chat with the manager.
We get home, and most of the family is there. Unfortunately, my dad's mom's boyfriend was there too. We call him KKK guy - I,m sure you can guess why. The first thing he says, looking at my step-sister, is "Why the hell is SHE here?" Way to piss everyone off. Especially after saying it to quite a few other people, including my wife. My brother and I told him, Keep it up, and you're next! You're the only one not welcome here! He shut up after that.
Through all this, my mom was on this anxiety medicine that made her loopy as hell. All she wanted to do was hold my dad's body. When she finally got to see it, she damn near undressed him. You could tell they cracked his ribs open, as they were poking through his shirt. She wanted to see his chest. Then his eyes (sewed up). Then his jaw (wired shut). Then his shoes etc. Luckily, she snapped out of it after we stopped the medication. The funeral was nice. Especially the procession which managed to stretch through 3 cities. My dad would have loved it.
7. When my best friend had died from a severe car accident the day after Valentines Day, the day of his funeral some of his family got his ex-girl friend cornered outside of the funeral home and kicked her a**!
8. I had been waiting tables at a local diner with my mother and the local undertaker came in with his family, he goes to the mens room. Upon returning he sits with his family and this tiny pink penis is poking out, I go to the kitchen and cant handle the fact that I have to wait on him, needless to say they left aggravated and annoyed as I could not go back to the table. Some years later my cousin passed and I was devastated, I was at the casket of my beloved cousin and getting hysterical with tears, my mother stood beside me and whispered in my ear, kiddo remember the lil pink penis? well i bursted out in hysterical laughter,I always remember this when attending funerals at this funeral home.(as my mother came from an extremely large family)
9. Last year my 30 year old cousin died in a car wreak. he was buried in the local cemetery which is very large but was buried in the part that is right next to a busy road. As soon as everyone had arrived at the grave site someone who was driving by was paying more attention to the funeral then to their driving and side swiped a car and rear ended another car. All we could do was stand there and stare, guess it was a good thing that my uncle is a cop and happened to get about a dozen cop escorts for the funeral.
10. A friend of mine wasn't able to borrow a car for a family member's funeral. He was forced to arrive in his own vehicle which sports a bumper sticker that says "Funerals Brings Friends and Families Together".
To submit your entry Click Here