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Skaters ImageTop Ten Hellish Things Said During Sex

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1. In the heat of passion my husband of 14 years said, "I love you Sara." That's not my name. Ouch!

2. What's your name?....After making out!!

3. I was having sex with a guy I'd met when he looked down at me and said "you know, from this angle you look just like my mother. Thats hot.". I've never gotten dressed so fast.

4. Under the impression that the A-hole that I was sleeping with (who happens to be my house mate) wanted to spend time with me, I came home from work. He said he would join me and wash my back as I got into the shower. One thing led to another... All of a sudden he looks up from going down on me and says I'm hungry. I gotta get something to eat. I blew it off and we moved to the bedroom. The phone rings, he disengages his self from me and proceeds to make dinner plans which I refuse because I am livid. Dinner turned into a two day poker game. That's ok though I will pee on his toothbrush every day and smile as I watch him brush his teeth.

5. During sex with my boy friend, he said," I love the way my dicks look when I see a pic of it in my sex album!!!"

6. I was dating this fireman, let's call him Kevin. Who wasn't very good in bed to begin with and could only have sex to the beat of music. His favorite? Van Halen of course. During the middle of "running with the devil" we went to change positions, and he said "why don't you swing that stinkhole over here to the edge if the bed". I did swing to the edge of the bed, leapt off, got my clothes and bailed. In his car. (I did return it 4 days later.) He could not understand what my problem was because when I told him what a jack*ss he was, he told me he referred to all women's vaginas that way. To him it was a special kind of pet name. Pet name!!!!! You have got to be kidding!

7. Hey Don't Worry Baby! Think Of My Genital Warts As Nature's French Ticklers!


9. Ok no one "said" this. A song came on the random mp3 playlist on the PC in the backround. "Every Sperm is Sacred" by Monthy Python. Offputting...

10. Well it was my first time having sex. And me and my boyfriend were excited! It started out great at least the first two minutes. Then all he kept doing was talking. Not even romantic things. Stuff about his friends and family.

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