Top Ten Honeymoons from Hell
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1. Had been with hubby for 2 years and lived together. We were older, and had "the Test", to make sure we were ready to start having sex unprotected...we wanted to get pregnant soon. Got to the airport after being married for 2 days, and the security guard found a condom wrapper in his pocket. He said he was using it to masturbate when he spent the night at his mom's right before we got married. Went to a cheap cabin in the woods and new hubby stared at every female with a fat ass on our honeymoon. He read about 40% of the time we were in the cabin. When he wasn't reading, he was on the phone talking to his best buddy out in California, about the book he was reading. We then drove to Florida to pick up his furniture out of storage, and his obnoxious, big-eared friend repeatedly called me "Trick". My husband never corrected him and never took up for me. So, the next day I handled it myself--husband was afraid of me hurting his mousy friend's feelings, but I did it anyway. Needless to say, I became pregnant with a beautiful daughter; but the treatment hasn't really improved much. His folks are bullies and he is too much of a coward to pt a stop to the continuous disrespect. I am no longer working, but he gives me 30-50 bucks bi-weekly to handle my needs. I am saving up the money to hire an attorney...you guys know the rest.
2. Got married, was staying in local hotel for 2 nights then going off to Singapore. Mother-in-law 'lost' keys (among other things - don't think she wanted to let go of her little boy) to hotel room. Luckily hotel was fine about it and provided another set. Spent two days hiding from in-laws who couldn't understand why we would want to be left alone. Then flew off to Singapore for 'real' honeymoon. Arrived at most expensive hotel have ever paid for in life - 5 star Amara Hotel. Had made it clear to them months in advance we were on our honeymoon. Turned out there was a conference on in Singapore - no double rooms left even though we had booked ours months ago - so we had to spend our first night in a TWIN room. Now that I think about it - it is absolute bullshit that they couldn't get us into a decent room. No compensation whatsoever, very little apology. Next day have to get up and ask for another room and see if one is available - there is. So have to pack up stuff and move to other room. This room has the right type of bed but STINKS of cigar or something. Give up and cry. Too tired to care anymore and just put up with it. Avoid room and have fun in Singapore together. Still happily married, can almost laugh about it now...almost...
3. My husband Steve and I were married on 8/28/04. We were to be married in an outdoors ceremony but due to rain the ceremony was moved to a plain, ordinary building. Since we only had 4 days for a honeymoon we chose
romantic Niagara Falls, Canada. Well, the honeymoon didn't get off to a great start either. We arrived at the airport to find that our flight on United Airlines had been cancelled. We were rerouted to United Express to Washington Dulles Airport..only then to find that our connecting flight was also cancelled. After many hours of waiting we were put on a USAir flight to Pittsburgh. When we got to Pittsburgh our connecting flight was missed since the pilot kept us on the plane and a mad dash to the other side of the airport didn't get us on the connecting flight. (The agents at Pittsburgh were not very friendly and could use some training in customer service.) Seven hours later we finally got a flight to Buffalo, N.Y. where we finally got our rental car and drove to our destination in Niagara Falls, Canada, arriving at 1:30 a.m. the following morning. (We actually missed one whole day of the honeymoon due to the airlines.) We got a couple of days to view the falls and see the sights then we hurried drove back to Buffalo to start the trip home. We were able to book an earlier flight then originally scheduled and arrived home 2 hours earlier then planned. Hurrah! But, the airport lost our luggage.
Thank God we had each other and may someday look on this disaster and laugh.
4. It all started with advice from an aunt of hers. She told her that she should not give too much of it. Okay, so I thought it was a joke, but nooo I was mistaken. I just have to remember that we make love once every two months or so. So back to our story. On our honeymoon on a beautiful beach, out of nowhere she told me: "Why is it that men only think in sex?" Bang! I was not even thinking of that. That set the scene for the rest of our marriage.
5. My fiance had told me how wealthy her family was. They told us they were buying us a car for a wedding present. We bought one-way tickets from Utah to Connecticut. Her family came from spain for the wedding. They (Mom, dad, and 3 brothers) stayed with my parents to save money. They couldn't buy us the car due to "un-favorable exchange rates" so my friend gave us a car to drive the 2600 miles.
Her mom said that they had some friends in Utah and since we were driving anyway . . .
So, my honeymoon was driving 2600 miles in a 2 door car with my now ex-wife, her mother and her 3 brothers. I paid all the bills and never got so much as a thank you.
But it's not over yet, after we got to Utah, her family got an apartment in Salt Lake City and settled in as illegal aliens.
6. When I got married to my ex-husband in 1981, we were just a couple of kids. I was 18 and my ex was 21. This marriage got off to a bad start. Because we were so young, we could not afford a fancy honeymoon, so we just rented a cabin in Northern Michigan for a few days. The cabin smelled like mold and someone took a big dump in the toilet and didn't flush it. I guess this was God's way of telling me that this marriage was doomed to failure. It was.
7. A rather posh colleague married a bloke whose surname was Ditty. They arrived at the honeymoon destination only to find they were booked in as Mr & Mrs DIRTY!!
8. We decided to take trip down highway 101 to San Louis Opisbo and drive back up for our honeymoon. I made all the arrangement and saved a bundle of money! We were to stay in a theme hotel with our room as the "jungle room" just like the photo. We got to San Fran and rented our car....hubby got lost in rush hour traffic in mid city, yelled at me for two hours that it was my fault. We finally made it to the hotel and we were informed we did not get the jungle room, but the "paradise room" instead. Hubby acted like a two year old and yelled and pouted and made me cry....finally agreeing to take the room instead of going to motel 6. Guess I should have realized then that divorce was imminent.
9. We decided to postpone our honeymoon for six month - my family genrously gave us the trip to Disneyworld Florida - by the time the trip was scheduled my now ex husband let me know that he would never work again and starve as an artist -- needless to say the honeymoon was filled with negativity and anger about how America could not appreciate his florid art...It began with a taxi cab driver misinforming him of the cost of transportation -- my ex went as far as asking the check in clerk for the yellow pages so he could call every taxi cab company and figure out where this rude cabbie lived to send him hate! The entire trip I felt like my husband wanted to implode later on he told me that he lived in Orlando with the only woman he ever loved -- the last day of our trip he wanted to pay homage to the apartment he shared with his ex girlfriend (smart girl for dumping him)....It was a mortification of pain.....My poor parents thought that the trip would help swing my ex out of his mental illness. Needless to say it took me 3 years to divorce him. MY ex had that special quality to make everything that he touched turn into a major anxiety attack.
10. Get married all goes well. Leave to drive to honeymoon destination and reverse into wife's mother and broke her hip - she steps in front of the car after many drinks and takes a couple too many steps. (my fault obviously). Honeymoon started at local hospital where our argument got so heated she phoned the police had me arrested for verbal assault and acting in a threatening behavior. All I did is raise my voice a bit and swore along with her all in the hospital ward. So I spent my honeymoon in the local cell for the weekend then organized my divorce and what I was going to be left with.
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