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REVENGE LADY
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Stressed out by love, life and relationships?
Revenge Game Image

How to Play

This game will test your skill as an Avenger.  Following are everyday situations that cry out for revenge. Immerse yourself in the scenario as described.  Feel the frustration, the anger, the sense of injustice!  Revel in the urge to teach he or she who is responsible a lesson they'll never forget!  The goal of the game is to figure out the best Revenge in the particular situation. You can do it alone or test your skills against a partner. You simply select a response and then see if Revenge Lady agrees!

SITUATION 1: PIZZA MADNESS

PizzaYou're driving home with a pizza you just bought sitting next to you on the passenger seat of your car. It smells great. You can't wait to get home and eat it.  Suddenly the driver in front of you, a hotshot guy in a Mercedes sports car, decides to pull into a parking space. You slam on your brakes. Your pizza goes flying and lands - splat - on your leather-trimmed dashboard. You pull up next to Mr. Flash as he gets out of his car. You politely tell him what just happened and show him the cheese dripping off your dash and the pizza now upside down on the carpet. You suggest he use his turn signal next time.  "Fuck you!" he says rather pointedly. He then stalks off.  What do you do?

    a. You remember all the stories you've heard of road rage. You drive home chanting Buddhist-style "om n-yo merengi k-yo" or is it "klaatu baraata nikto"?

    b. You burst into tears and pound his chest with your tiny clenched fists or back up your car, gun your engine and smash his car to pieces, depending on your mood/gender.

    c. You go back to the pizza joint.  You buy another pizza to take home. You smear your old one all over the jerk's car.

    d. You shrug it off and call for chinese food to be delivered.

Click here for Revenge Lady's answer.

 

SITUATION 2: SNAKEY BOYFRIENDS

SnakeYour boyfriend tells you he's going to Europe to visit an old friend dying of cancer. You think to yourself, what a sweet thoughtful guy!  After his return, you get a call from his other girlfriend, the one you didn't know about, informing you that they just spent a romantic two weeks together in Italy. What do you do?

    a. You go into his house after he goes to work and leave a rotating lawn sprinkler in his living room blasting water all day. You never reveal you did this, since the pig could press charges against you. You then have your phone number changed and have nothing more to do with him.

    b. You burst into his office and have a screaming showdown in front of all his co-workers.

    c. You blame yourself and think your cottage cheese thighs drove him into the arms of another woman.  You vow to go on a crash diet and make an appointment with a plastic surgeon to remove your unsightly double chin.

    d. You throw him out of your consciousness like tossing withered lettuce out of your refrigerator. You call up that interesting jazz pianist you met at your friend's kid's Bar Mitzvah.

Click here for Revenge Lady's answer.

 

SITUATION 3: TV RIVALS

TVYou're a reporter on a local TV news program.  You're next in line for a big promotion. One day the venerable silverhaired anchor who's been there forever announces his plans to retire. You then find out that the hair sprayed-solid-as-a-helmet weatherman wants the job too.  The rat sabotages your chances by unplugging your teleprompter and stealing some of your news copy pages when you're live on air. You look like an idiot and you get passed over for the job. Your adversary gets the plum position instead. What do you do?

    a. Accept your loss, congratulate him and leave the station to become a Lexus salesman. Your mom was right.  TV sucks!

    b. Tell your boss what happened and beg him to reconsider his choice.

    c. Make some serious moves on the weatherman's wife/girlfriend. If you manage to sleep with her, let him know all about it.  You might even videotape it and send him the tape.

    d. Hit him where it hurts the most. Go right for his jugular, which is of course his appearance. The day before his debut in his new position, find a way somehow into his apartment (without doing anything illegal) and replace his shampoo with hair remover.  If he's there and he's sleeping, you might seize the opportunity to write "666", the mark of the devil, on his forehead in indelible black marker.

Click here for Revenge Lady's answer.

 

SITUATION 4: DOG DAYS

Your neighbor has a big nasty dog that lives out in his backyard, a desolate arid place that resembles Beirut. The dog growls and barks whenever you go into your yard.  Even worse, the neighbor never picks up the dog's "waste material". When you complain about the aroma wafting over the fence, your neighbor actually starts lobbing turds into your yard when you're not home. What do you do?

    Doggiea. You order two tons of manure which you have dumped in his driveway.  You do this of course anonymously, paying for it with cash so that it can't be traced back to you.

    b. You put a bunch of piranhas in his swimming pool.

    c. You leave his gate open so Fido can explore the neighborhood and maybe get lost.

    d. You start hurling the turds back, only you aim for his open window or his car.

Click here for Revenge Lady's answer.

 

SITUATION 5: SNIFFING CO-WORKERS

JerkYou work for a large telemarketing company.  You spend hours in your cubicle with a phone headset on.  The man in the cubicle next to you punctuates his conversation with loud sniffing noises.  When you politely hand him a box of kleenex and ask him to refrain, he starts playing golden oldies on his cassette player to mask the noise. He becomes fixated on the Beach Boys and sings along with them, always opting for the high falsetto parts. You're about to lose your mind.  What do you do?

    a. You quit your job.

    b. You rig his cassette player so next time he turns it on he gets a healthy electric shock (non-lethal of course).

    c. You bring in your own cassette player and blast him with Barry White and refuse to stop till he gives in and calls a truce.

    d. You push stink bombs under the cubicle wall into his space.  You complain to your supervisor about his body odor and hopefully get him fired.

Click here for Revenge Lady's answer.

 

SITUATION 6: RETAIL WARFARE

New Hot ImageYou're at a department store sale digging through racks of clothes along with many other rabid shoppers.  You spot a DKNY suede jacket that's to die for. Oh my god! It's a size 10.  Your size!  Just then a woman on the other side of the rack yanks it out of your hands and takes off with it. You go after her and say firmly, "Excuse me, I was about to buy that jacket." She turns on you like a rabid jackal and says, "Back off, bitch!" You're boiling mad. What do you do?

    a. Go to the coffee shop and console yourself with a triple mocha.

    b. Follow her out to the parking lot and punch her lights out.

    c. Follow her into the changing room and listen till you hear her take off her dress and hang it on the door.  Find a stool to stand on and reach over the door, take the dress off the hook and walk off with it.  Hide it somewhere in the store. (You don't want to be charged with theft.)  Then leave with dignity telling yourself suede costs a fortune in cleaning bills anyway.

    d. Throw a tantrum and yell and scream until the store manager intercedes and either gets your jacket back or has you thrown out of the store.

Click here for Revenge Lady's answer.

 

ThiefSITUATION 7: LOVE THIEF

You've been going with a guy for several months. You like him a lot.  Your best friend Jasmine likes him too. Behind your back Jasmine tells your guy that you're two-timing him.  He breaks up with you and starts to go out with her since she seems like a true friend. You're hopping mad.  What do you do?

    a. You leave a message on Jasmine's answer machine from Planned Parenthood saying that her results are in and they're positive.  Your voice is disguised of course.

    b. You go out with HIS friend and just happen to run into them at the Cineplex.

    c. You put itching powder in her underwear.

    d. You get a bunch of free literature from various venereal disease clinics and leave them in her guest bathroom she never uses where you know he'll find them.

Click here for Revenge Lady's answer.


 
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