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Dear Revenge Lady,
A former co-worker and I have had an on again, off again relationship for the past 3 years. He has been divorced twice. We are either hot and heavy or nothing.... no contact. I have been totally in love with this man for years. And he has said the same. But he claims he is not interested in committing to any relationship, which may be true. He is a womanizer and I believe sleeps around with many different women. I could write a book here but will keep this as short as I can. We have not worked together for over a year as he opened his own business, which by the way, I am the one who came up with the name of his business!!!! We have kept in contact since he has been out on his own. Sometimes, I'll go over his house and he will be all over me! Other times, he is very standoffish.?? He has a daughter who, last time I saw her, said she loved me. She is wonderful!! Don't know if he was jealous about that as he loves his daughter very much... However, back in June, he asked me over to his house to help him work on a power point presentation for a client. I worked on it all afternoon. While working on it, I heard him on the phone making a date with someone for the next night. I should have left but did not. I tried to rationalize it away. Then, after I finished the presentation, he told me he knew the nice thing to do to thank me would be to take me out for dinner but he did not feel like it. What a turd! We went 5 months without contact. I feel some sort of responsibility for his company since I did research for him to start it..... anyway, he is having a marketing expo today. I worked on it with him last year. I decided to let bygones be bygones so I sent him an email because he had a typo on his web-site and because I had missed not talking to him. We have a good time together and he can always make me laugh. He emailed me back and said he would love to see me as I was going to be over near where he lives. ( we live 30 minutes away from each other). My best friend lives less than 3 minutes from his house and I was over her house for dinner and thought I would stop by to say hello since it had been awhile. He said he was not 100% sure he would be home that night but to call him later that evening and he hoped it would work out. I decided to surprise him by going over..... there was another car in his driveway. Obviously, a female friend. I went up and rang his doorbell as he had his door open and only the glass storm door was open,,, you could see in his house. He never came to the door. I have not heard from him since that happened 2 days ago.

I wish he could have just said that he had plans. Don't understand why he could not be truthful. I do know that he has never been faithful to any women in his life and that is why he has been divorced 2x. He can be very charming and can be very mean. I am not sure why I feel that I still love him. Maybe because I like the way I feel when I am around him.

I want revenge because he should have at least had the decency to come to the door. Even half dressed. He is a womanizing pig. And I wish I could erase him from my mind! Oh,,, also we have many of the same business associates. They still constantly ask me how he is, etc.. We were very close when we worked together and I think everyone knew it. Needing Advice - or a kick in the Butt
Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth:
Well, I think you know what I'm going to say - yes you need a kick in the butt, girl. This guy's a user and for some reason you have been willing to be used.
That is the real problem here and that is what you should be putting your energy into fixing....read this letter over forgetting it's about you and see
how the woman is humiliating herself over and over. Of course he didn't need to come to the door - are you crazy? He was having sex, end of story.
Walk away, stop being a doormat. Cut off all contact, this is really unhealthy. Okay?
Revenge Lady

Dear RL,
Thanks... and great advice! However, I did have a little revenge today... and I feel AWESOME! He is at the Marketing Expo. I left him a present on the windshield of his car. It was a tee shirt that said "Multiple Partners...... Total Anonymity". I now plan to cut off ALL contact and hope to never think of him again. Oh, and if the people I work with ask me how he is doing.. my response will be "he is a sleazy pig and I do not talk or associate with people like that"... end of story.
Thanks again!
Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth:
Well done! Congratulations!
Love RL
 

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